The bottle gonna crack

I broke down every single day and night though i know it won't do me/my life any better but i can't help it with the pain i felt inside. No one knew how it feels like to be this way. I kept every littlest and biggest things inside my heart. I have always thought that my heart is truely shattered but it seems that i still can kept all the pain to myself. I have yet to tell others about my life, all i said was 'dont be like me, get married and have a happy beginning.'

Every lady wants a perfect wedding plan, perfect happy family and a perfect married life or the least we wish to have is a sweet married life that contains you, me and baby. I didn't get to invite anyone to my Wedding 'cause i'm not even married yet but i already have a child. Normal Vagina Delivery, perfectly borned. I don't even know have a perfect or happy family between me, siblings and parents neither do i have a happy family with my love one, Muhammad Rahmat. I've made a wrong turn and even if i'm forgiven but we'll never what lies deep inside his heart. Perhaps, revenge is a revenge for the rest of my life. How long can i stand everything in life?

I'm helpless and hopeless!